by Rebecca
Whether you’re in the process of making the life-changing move overseas or you’re already there – this is a universal truth: There is a lot of information coming at you.
As you prepare and sit through orientation, your sending agency is doing its best to fully equip you for the job ahead. There are lists of both required and recommended reading. There are days (maybe weeks) of in-person orientation. There are thumb drives or online portals filled with resources, articles and forms with which to familiarize yourself. There are pages of financial documents to be filled out and to understand – how do donations work, what paperwork needs to be submitted to create accounts, what does the home office need from donors to process pre-authorized payments….
There is a lot to learn about the country you’re preparing to call home – it’s culture, it’s history, it’s socio-economic status. What is the current political culture like? There are lists of recommended vaccines and figuring out what your luggage allowance is going to be and what do you need to fit into those limitations!
Sitting through orientation, you learn about who to connect with at the home office and how often you should be connecting with your regional leadership, your member care personnel. When and how to get travel plans approved is explained. There might be security training or at least guidelines for how to avoid falling prey to the dangers that can come with living overseas. There are principles for working well on a team and how to communicate expectations and deal with conflict in a healthy way.
Our organization has wellness plans that needed completing – how would we take care of our physical, mental and spiritual health? There were quizzes to be taken to assess stress levels, burnout levels, and the likes – but how to remember that these all exist and where to find them and how often to run yourself through them?
There were tips and ideas for connecting with supporters and supporting churches. How do you present well what you’re doing? How do you hone that elevator speech for the times you’re given two minutes during the announcement portion of a service? What can you say or not say as you anticipate moving into a context where there are security concerns or is considered limited access?
I remember feeling overwhelmed as we prepared to move overseas. For months leading up to our departure it felt like we were having more information than I could process thrown at us with each meeting, each connection. How do you keep it all straight and absorb it well? How do you try to learn everything you can when you don’t have the concrete hooks of your context in place? So much of that information has made more sense since arriving on the ground and having specific situations and cultural frameworks to pin the information to.
At the same time, I remember feeling like we never had enough information. Teammates already on the ground graciously took the time to make lists of things they recommended that we bring from North America and what was available locally. Overall, these were helpful but they were also somewhat subjective considering who was preparing them. There was a certain amount of overlap between everyone’s lists, but each family had something that was different from everyone else’s. Would we regret not bringing the outlier suggestion with us? Did we really need a water filter for our shower head?! It often seemed more difficult than it should have been, filtering through the recommendations and trying to figure out what we should pack and which things we could confidently ignore.
I remember reaching out to the two women on the ground in our specific, more remote context and asking about what was available locally and what I should bring. They both responded that everything I might need was locally available – anything I wanted could be purchased on trips to the capital city. I wanted to believe this but since one woman was an empty-nester and the other was single, it was tempting to wonder if they were taking into consideration the fact that I was a young mom of two, bringing my toddler and newborn to this place. Were they thinking about diapers, wipes, and diaper rash cream that were both affordable and worked well? Were they thinking about reasonably priced, toddler-approved snacks? Both women had been there for quite a number of years already – did they remember what it was like to be new? Had they adapted so well that their definition of need may look different than mine as a newcomer? I also knew that as a single female in my previous overseas stint, I wouldn’t have been thinking about the accessibility of things a young family might want or need – so much of these things weren’t even on my radar.
I remember asking what the accommodations looked like – I mean, really, what does it mean to live on the roof of a hospital? Were there areas for my kids to play outside? What was the laundry situation like? What about grocery shopping and restaurants? The answers always felt incomplete. They didn’t want to disappoint us by sending pictures of the apartment slated for us, just in case they had to change things around and put us in a different unit. The general sense seemed to be less information was better than changed information. But as a newbie that wasn’t how I felt. Any information was desired, even if it was subject to change. I’m a grown woman – I get that things change. What a difference even a few photos of the communal spaces would have made!
As a woman moving to a conservative Muslim culture, I remember agonizing over the wardrobe I packed. Were these sleeves long enough? This neckline high enough? These pants too tight? The clothing guidelines seemed vague enough, and with the difficulty of being newly postpartum as well, I remember feeling like I just didn’t have enough information on what to wear. It seems so simple now and maybe insignificant, but pre-departure it felt like a heavy weight and even created a significant amount of anxiety.
We wondered about team dynamics and even now I have no good answers about how you transfer the collective team knowledge and history of interpersonal relationships and group dynamics to the newcomer.
If you’re in those pre-departure days and you are feeling overwhelmed by the information being thrown at you, but also feeling like there are gaps in the information that you want – take heart! You are not alone! Many have stood where you stand. Here are a few things to remember:
- All those things that you worry about forgetting – there will be people to point you towards those resources when you need them. And when you need them and use them, they won’t seem too overwhelming and they’ll be easier to remember for the next time.
- Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. Ask your questions – again and again. I wish I had pressed for pictures of where we were going, or asked for the contact information of any other young families living in the area who would understand more specifically our questions and our needs.
- Hold onto these feelings. Soon enough you will be the seasoned worker answering the questions of the prospective teammates. Remember how you felt in this season, put yourself back in these shoes and answer their questions through this lens. Send them the type of answers you were hoping for yourself.
And finally, remember that we serve a God who is in the details. He knows where He is sending you and He knows what you need. You can be confident that even if His list of what you need doesn’t match up to your own list, His is correct and He’ll supply it all. More than likely, a few months down the road, once you’ve arrived and settled in, you’ll be wondering why it all seemed so overwhelming because now it all feels like second nature.
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